how do you know if you’re ready to get married – Advice on relationships and engagement from Dr. David Gudgel, author of the book “Before You Get Engaged”. more info can be found at www.beforeyougetengaged.com

In the world today many Muslims, especially those residing in Western countries are exposed to the evil celebration, Christmas. Many take part in the festive celebrations by exchanging cards, gifts, decorating homes, having Christmas turkey dinners & congratulating one another for the coming of season etc. For many the practice is viewed as harmless amusement & pleasure for young & old.

The build up to Christmas is aggressively promoted; businesses deploy every possible tactic to captivate the masses in every spectrum of society, in shopping centres, high streets, television, radio, magazine & newspapers.

Even though Christmas has been taken hostage by Capitalist to increase business revenues, many still practice this corrupt celebration as a remembrance of the birth of Jesus, who is considered as ‘the incarnation of God’ second third of the trinity, hence it is a celebration of the birth of divinity.

Though the date 25th December is taken by Christians as the birth of Jesus, the origins of this date can be linked to the birthday of the Hindu god Khrishna, & the Greek god of light, Mithra. This evil celebration is from many angles of origin is a deeply rooted practice of Shirk (worshipping along with the Creator [i.e. Allah], a crime which Allah will never forgive.

“Verily, Allâh forgives not that partners should be set up with him in worship, but He forgives except that (anything else) to whom He pleases, & whoever sets up partners with Allâh in worship, he has indeed invented a tremendous sin” [4:48]

How can a Muslim possibly approve or participate in such a practice that bases itself on the notion that Allah has an offspring?

Allah (swt) said,

“Such was Jesus, the son of Mary; it is a statement of truth, about which they vainly dispute. It is not befitting to the majesty of God, that He should beget a son. Glory be to Him! When He determines a matter, He only says to it, ‘Be’ & it is” [19:34-35]

If the prophet of Allah, Jesus (Isa the son of Maryum, peace be upon him) was to return now, he would never tolerate such accusations being levied against him. Rather when he was born his first proclamation was clarifying his status as slave & messenger of Allah & nothing more.

He (Jesus) said: ‘Verily! I am a slave of God; He has given me the Scripture & made me a Prophet; “[19:29-30]

The very concept of Christmas contradicts & conflicts with the foundation of Islam, & that is the testimony of faith, “La Ilaha Ila Allah – None has the right to be worshipped but Allah”. Any person with basic knowledge of Islam could never accept or tolerate such a false accusation against Allah. Allah is free from having any offspring or being an offspring, for He (swt) said,

“Say: “God is Unique! God, the Source [of everything]. He has not fathered anyone nor was He fathered, & there is nothing comparable to Him!” [112:1-4]

Even though this practice is heavily glamorised & practiced by the majority, it is paramount for every worshipper of Allah to avoid following the masses in this evil celebration, Allah (swt) said,

“If you obey most of those upon the earth, they will lead you away from the way of Allaah.” [6:116]

It is the ruling of Allah & His Messenger, that those who imitate anyone in dress, manner, behaviour, speech or even celebration becomes part of that community, for the messenger of Allah (swt) said,

“Whoever imamates a group of people he is one of them”. [Reported in Abu Dawood]

Every Muslim has a responsibility to protect his family from the misguidance of Christmas, because its observance will lead to hellfire (a punishment which is seventy times hotter than the fires of this world).

“O you who believe! save yourselves & your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men & stones..” [66:6]

Know dear Muslim, to offer Christmas cards, attend any Christmas events, to congratulate others (i.e. by saying “Merry Christmas” or “Happy New Year” etc), Decorating the house, purchasing Christmas trees, or having Christmas turkey meals are completely prohibited by Allah. Protect your Paradise from being taken away from you & your family; protect yourself & your family from Christmas.

To start off, im 18. Anyway, back when i was younger (in 7th grade), i saw this girl, and she was beautiful (i can literally remember the first day i saw her). I was so terribly shy that for 7th, and 8th grade, i may have said but a few words to her. Then high school came along and my crush continued, and still i did nothing. For 4 years i liked her *my junior year i tried to move on, and i was upset..=( * I also realized she had a bf and senior year was their 3rd year of dating. Then this summer, i was working at my school and there she is!! I dont know how it all happened, but suddenly we just started taking. Alot. We talk about everyday at work, and for about an hour – 4 hours online. I foundout she is still going out with her bf. I then realized that the closer i got to her, the more hurt id be. Shes so happy with her bf, if i hung around, id just get hurt realizing what i missed out on… THen the other day im talking to her and she tells me her and her bf are breaking up b4 they go to college. I felt so bad because they’re really great for each other, but at the same time, im like… for 4 years i sat and watched and did nothing, this is like my chance. So when i found this out, I suddenly became even more interested in her. I didnt change the way i was with her (havent been flirting more, none of that stuff cause they’re still a couple and i respect that, i dont want to interfere. But recently shes been telling me things like how he was pretty much her life and her friends have been telling her they could work things out because they’re only an hour apart from eachother. I dont know what i should do… I mean, i know i have to wait till she goes to college (on sunday), but what if she tries to patch things up with her bf after they break up? I want to tell her how i feel (how ive liked her for so long, shes on my mind everyday, I dont want to give up an opportunity for her again, i dont think i can take it… I thought i had gotten over her last year, but i guess i just supressed my liking for her.

SOrry this is so long, but shes just an amazing girl, shes so nice and kind, her personality is great, we have lots in common, and some not so common things, but thats good, cause opposites atttact, two common people would be boring. She doesnt know i like her this much, or for this long. I know if it doesnt work, time will heal, and the pain will lift, but its gonna be so rough, i really hope things can work oout, for all of us, even if it means i have to give her up so she can be with her bf right now…I know there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but still… even with having a pretty good life, i would love for her to add to it.

Thanks HaiLo, your answer has helped alot. Yeah i wasnt planning on rushing into this at all, i just want to like, prepare myself for all this, ya know. This is the first time ive ever been in a situation like this, im just conerned is all. This girl is really something special, shes like one of the reasons why i go to work. And each day i make sure to say hi to her.
But yeah, there may be other out there, maybe even better, i guess ill just have to wait and see… =\

There’s this guy I met on fb. He’s safe, a lot of my friends know him personally. He’s Christian. He goes to church & participates in the youth group there. He has 2 younger sisters. We have been tlking for a month & 1/2 & we have been tlking bout dating. We r going to diff schools freshman yr (bout 3 hrs away). He is participating in a program at his college (sort of like academic probation) & then he will switch over to my school for the other 3 yrs. He doesn’t do long distance relationships at all w/ anyone. So we r planning on dating this summer & then saying goodbye when he leaves & if we both don’t find anyone, then we can date after the yr. He also told me if he finds sumone when he is there, he won’t be dating them after a yr b/c he doesn’t do long distance. Anyway, he wants more physically out of the relationship than what I am willing to give so ppl on here keep saying he is just using me for sex, but he doesn’t seem like a player AT ALL. He sounds sincere & sweet. In pics, he seems introverted & shy. He couldn’t get a date to prom so he went w/ an overweight girl (there’s even pics). He just doesn’t seem like a player at all. He also is bipolar & has low self esteem. I have even tlked to him on the phone & he sounds sweet. I know he likes this other girl in addition to me though & she’s super pretty. He said he can’t think of a thing he doesn’t like bout her.

Anyway, a little while ago, he just completely stopped tlking to me & blocked me on fb. B4 this happened, he seemed less & less interested. I txted him asking what I did & he said I was too conservative & partly b/c I always overreact (I really do, I freak out when he tlks to other girls or stupid stuff like that). He said after discussing things w/ a trusted source (girl who’s a friend), he has decided he can’t date or tlk to me anymore. I told him I would have sex w/ him (I LIED, I’m saving sex till marriage/engagement) He suddenly showed a lot more interest in me & started chasing me again. But then I told him I lied & he was disappointed, saying he was really looking forward to it. He kept asking if he could have just a little like touching on the 1st date. I kept saying no. Anyway, he eventually gave me 3 options for the 1st date: sex, oral, or a handjob. I chose neither & blocked him. He txted me apologizing & saying he was a douche. I unblocked him & he agreed to just regular kissing on the 1st date, even though you could tell he wasn’t ok w/ it. He started showing less & less interest again. I told him how I get advice from a dating site & they said he is just using me for sex. He said, “believe them…lose me” I asked him for the truth. He said he’s told me the truth but I can believe a website over him. I said how I believe him, but it just seems like he is all bout the physical. He said, “I’ll admit I am after physical, but I do like u”

Yest, we were tlking bout how he just got a formspring. He actually has had 1 for a while but he just brought it back on fb. So I posted a question anomyously asking, “like any girls at the moment?” Stupid me, w/out thinking, I posted it around the same time I was tlking to him. Anyway, we kept tlking about our 1st date & stuff that is on Mon, which I think he might not even show up b/c I told him he had to meet my mom & he wants more physically out of the relationship than what I’m willing to give him. Anyway, today he answered the question, saying “many… too bad i know who this is.” So he obviously knows I asked the question. I feel like a complete idiot! What can I do to make it look like I didn’t ask it? How can I fix it? Should I bring it up or not b/c that might look like I did it? Idk…I just don’t want him to think it was me. Did that look bad that I asked that? Also, my 2nd question, I know I always have pushed away advice diff from what I what to hear, but I’m starting to second guess everything & I just want your honest opinion (whether it’s what I want to hear or not). Do u think he is using me or is it the bipolar that does this? I’m just so confused. I have told my parents everything that has been going on & they don’t think he is using me at all. They think he hasn’t had a lot of girls around him at all (I don’t think he has either) & has low self esteem & they have been around a lot longer than me. I’m just so confused & so unsure of things…plz help me!! Thx!

There’s this guy I met on fb. He’s safe, a lot of my friends know him personally. He’s Christian. He goes to church & participates in the youth group there. He has 2 younger sisters. We have been tlking for a month & 1/2 & we have been tlking bout dating. We r going to diff schools freshman yr (bout 3 hrs away). He is participating in a program at his college (sort of like academic probation) & then he will switch over to my school for the other 3 yrs. He doesn’t do long distance relationships at all w/ anyone. So we r planning on dating this summer & then saying goodbye when he leaves & if we both don’t find anyone, then we can date after the yr. He also told me if he finds sumone when he is there, he won’t be dating them after a yr b/c he doesn’t do long distance. Anyway, he wants more physically out of the relationship than what I am willing to give so ppl on here keep saying he is just using me for sex, but he doesn’t seem like a player AT ALL. He sounds sincere & sweet. In pics, he seems introverted & shy. He couldn’t get a date to prom so he went w/ an overweight girl (there’s even pics). He just doesn’t seem like a player at all. He also is bipolar & has low self esteem. I have even tlked to him on the phone & he sounds sweet. I know he likes this other girl in addition to me though & she’s super pretty. He said he can’t think of a thing he doesn’t like bout her.

Anyway, a little while ago, he just completely stopped tlking to me & blocked me on fb. B4 this happened, he seemed less & less interested. I txted him asking what I did & he said I was too conservative & partly b/c I always overreact (I really do, I freak out when he tlks to other girls or stupid stuff like that). He said after discussing things w/ a trusted source (girl who’s a friend), he has decided he can’t date or tlk to me anymore. I told him I would have sex w/ him (I LIED, I’m saving sex till marriage/engagement) He suddenly showed a lot more interest in me & started chasing me again. But then I told him I lied & he was disappointed, saying he was really looking forward to it. He kept asking if he could have just a little like touching on the 1st date. I kept saying no. Anyway, he eventually gave me 3 options for the 1st date: sex, oral, or a handjob. I chose neither & blocked him. He txted me apologizing & saying he was a douche. I unblocked him & he agreed to just regular kissing on the 1st date, even though you could tell he wasn’t ok w/ it. He started showing less & less interest again. I told him how I get advice from a dating site & they said he is just using me for sex. He said, “believe them…lose me” I asked him for the truth. He said he’s told me the truth but I can believe a website over him. I said how I believe him, but it just seems like he is all bout the physical. He said, “I’ll admit I am after physical, but I do like u”

Yest, we were tlking bout how he just got a formspring. He actually has had 1 for a while but he just brought it back on fb. So I posted a question anomyously asking, “like any girls at the moment?” Stupid me, w/out thinking, I posted it around the same time I was tlking to him. Anyway, we kept tlking about our 1st date & stuff that is on Mon, which I think he might not even show up b/c I told him he had to meet my mom & he wants more physically out of the relationship than what I’m willing to give him. Anyway, today he answered the question, saying “many… too bad i know who this is.” So he obviously knows I asked the question. I feel like a complete idiot! What can I do to make it look like I didn’t ask it? How can I fix it? Should I bring it up or not b/c that might look like I did it? Idk…I just don’t want him to think it was me. Did that look bad that I asked that? Also, my 2nd question, I know I always have pushed away advice diff from what I what to hear, but I’m starting to second guess everything & I just want your honest opinion (whether it’s what I want to hear or not). Do u think he is using me or is it the bipolar that does this? I’m just so confused. I have told my parents everything that has been going on & they don’t think he is using me at all. They think he hasn’t had a lot of girls around him at all (I don’t think he has either) & has low self esteem & they have been around a lot longer than me. I’m just so confused & so unsure of things…plz help me!! Thx!

I’m lonely since I divorced Earl last year. And I swing both ways dearies, if that makes things easier.

There’s this guy I met on fb. He’s safe, a lot of my friends know him personally. He’s Christian. He goes to church & participates in the youth group there. He has 2 younger sisters. We have been tlking for a month & 1/2 & we have been tlking bout dating. We r going to diff schools freshman yr (bout 3 hrs away). He is participating in a program at his college (sort of like academic probation) & then he will switch over to my school for the other 3 yrs. He doesn’t do long distance relationships at all w/ anyone. So we r planning on dating this summer & then saying goodbye when he leaves & if we both don’t find anyone, then we can date after the yr. He also told me if he finds sumone when he is there, he won’t be dating them after a yr b/c he doesn’t do long distance. Anyway, he wants more physically out of the relationship than what I am willing to give so ppl on here keep saying he is just using me for sex, but he doesn’t seem like a player AT ALL. He sounds sincere & sweet. In pics, he seems introverted & shy. He couldn’t get a date to prom so he went w/ an overweight girl (there’s even pics). He just doesn’t seem like a player at all. He also is bipolar & has low self esteem. I have even tlked to him on the phone & he sounds sweet. I know he likes this other girl in addition to me though & she’s super pretty. He said he can’t think of a thing he doesn’t like bout her.

Anyway, a little while ago, he just completely stopped tlking to me & blocked me on fb. B4 this happened, he seemed less & less interested. I txted him asking what I did & he said I was too conservative & partly b/c I always overreact (I really do, I freak out when he tlks to other girls or stupid stuff like that). He said after discussing things w/ a trusted source (girl who’s a friend), he has decided he can’t date or tlk to me anymore. I told him I would have sex w/ him (I LIED, I’m saving sex till marriage/engagement) He suddenly showed a lot more interest in me & started chasing me again. But then I told him I lied & he was disappointed, saying he was really looking forward to it. He kept asking if he could have just a little like touching on the 1st date. I kept saying no. Anyway, he eventually gave me 3 options for the 1st date: sex, oral, or a handjob. I chose neither & blocked him. He txted me apologizing & saying he was a douche. I unblocked him & he agreed to just regular kissing on the 1st date, even though you could tell he wasn’t ok w/ it. He started showing less & less interest again. I told him how I get advice from a dating site & they said he is just using me for sex. He said, “believe them…lose me” I asked him for the truth. He said he’s told me the truth but I can believe a website over him. I said how I believe him, but it just seems like he is all bout the physical. He said, “I’ll admit I am after physical, but I do like u”

Yest, we were tlking bout how he just got a formspring. He actually has had 1 for a while but he just brought it back on fb. So I posted a question anomyously asking, “like any girls at the moment?” Stupid me, w/out thinking, I posted it around the same time I was tlking to him. Anyway, we kept tlking about our 1st date & stuff that is on Mon, which I think he might not even show up b/c I told him he had to meet my mom & he wants more physically out of the relationship than what I’m willing to give him. Anyway, today he answered the question, saying “many… too bad i know who this is.” So he obviously knows I asked the question. I feel like a complete idiot! What can I do to make it look like I didn’t ask it? How can I fix it? Should I bring it up or not b/c that might look like I did it? Idk…I just don’t want him to think it was me. Did that look bad that I asked that? Also, my 2nd question, I know I always have pushed away advice diff from what I what to hear, but I’m starting to second guess everything & I just want your honest opinion (whether it’s what I want to hear or not). Do u think he is using me or is it the bipolar that does this? I’m just so confused. I have told my parents everything that has been going on & they don’t think he is using me at all. They think he hasn’t had a lot of girls around him at all (I don’t think he has either) & has low self esteem & they have been around a lot longer than me. I’m just so confused & so unsure of things…plz help me!! Thx!

There’s this guy I met on fb. He’s safe, a lot of my friends know him personally. He’s Christian. He goes to church & participates in the youth group there. He has 2 younger sisters. We have been tlking for a month & 1/2 & we have been tlking bout dating. We r going to diff schools freshman yr (bout 3 hrs away). He is participating in a program at his college (sort of like academic probation) & then he will switch over to my school for the other 3 yrs. He doesn’t do long distance relationships at all w/ anyone. So we r planning on dating this summer & then saying goodbye when he leaves & if we both don’t find anyone, then we can date after the yr. He also told me if he finds sumone when he is there, he won’t be dating them after a yr b/c he doesn’t do long distance. Anyway, he wants more physically out of the relationship than what I am willing to give so ppl on here keep saying he is just using me for sex, but he doesn’t seem like a player AT ALL. He sounds sincere & sweet. In pics, he seems introverted & shy. He couldn’t get a date to prom so he went w/ an overweight girl (there’s even pics). He just doesn’t seem like a player at all. He also is bipolar & has low self esteem. I have even tlked to him on the phone & he sounds sweet. I know he likes this other girl in addition to me though & she’s super pretty. He said he can’t think of a thing he doesn’t like bout her.

Anyway, a little while ago, he just completely stopped tlking to me & blocked me on fb. B4 this happened, he seemed less & less interested. I txted him asking what I did & he said I was too conservative & partly b/c I always overreact (I really do, I freak out when he tlks to other girls or stupid stuff like that). He said after discussing things w/ a trusted source (girl who’s a friend), he has decided he can’t date or tlk to me anymore. I told him I would have sex w/ him (I LIED, I’m saving sex till marriage/engagement) He suddenly showed a lot more interest in me & started chasing me again. But then I told him I lied & he was disappointed, saying he was really looking forward to it. He kept asking if he could have just a little like touching on the 1st date. I kept saying no. Anyway, he eventually gave me 3 options for the 1st date: sex, oral, or a handjob. I chose neither & blocked him. He txted me apologizing & saying he was a douche. I unblocked him & he agreed to just regular kissing on the 1st date, even though you could tell he wasn’t ok w/ it. He started showing less & less interest again. I told him how I get advice from a dating site & they said he is just using me for sex. He said, “believe them…lose me” I asked him for the truth. He said he’s told me the truth but I can believe a website over him. I said how I believe him, but it just seems like he is all bout the physical. He said, “I’ll admit I am after physical, but I do like u”

Yest, we were tlking bout how he just got a formspring. He actually has had 1 for a while but he just brought it back on fb. So I posted a question anomyously asking, “like any girls at the moment?” Stupid me, w/out thinking, I posted it around the same time I was tlking to him. Anyway, we kept tlking about our 1st date & stuff that is on Mon, which I think he might not even show up b/c I told him he had to meet my mom & he wants more physically out of the relationship than what I’m willing to give him. Anyway, today he answered the question, saying “many… too bad i know who this is.” So he obviously knows I asked the question. I feel like a complete idiot! What can I do to make it look like I didn’t ask it? How can I fix it? Should I bring it up or not b/c that might look like I did it? Idk…I just don’t want him to think it was me. Did that look bad that I asked that? Also, my 2nd question, I know I always have pushed away advice diff from what I what to hear, but I’m starting to second guess everything & I just want your honest opinion (whether it’s what I want to hear or not). Do u think he is using me or is it the bipolar that does this? I’m just so confused. I have told my parents everything that has been going on & they don’t think he is using me at all. They think he hasn’t had a lot of girls around him at all (I don’t think he has either) & has low self esteem & they have been around a lot longer than me. I’m just so confused & so unsure of things…plz help me!! Thx!